Think the school is having an audition for having ur own singing album... i dunno to participate or not... coz i tink i'm not up to it. but i feel like gg to gain some experience... haiz... i'm very stress too. sch wrk tt i dunno how to do, projects haven started... sianz!

if u tink u can get to anyway by juz thorwing temper den i tink u're damn wrong. i noe i dun haf e right to say u... but hope u will be more rational when handling... or when u wan to say others please tink of wat example u set 1st... coz i've heard tings from other ppl too...

no matter how u treat me or how u tink of me, i'll still treat u like before forever... problems come to u, u can find me... coz i'll be thr for u every moment every seconds...

Sianz.. i'm sick. Now more worst my condition for sore throat had worsened coz i some sort of raised my voice... Sianz.. CA2 coming... I don't even know well enough about that topic. Sianz... Heard from my classmates that there might be attachment this coming June. I not sure whether i want or not... haiz... Can't bring the past to he future.. Of coz! But i hope you will treat me like last time...

Now then i know in your eyes how you think of me... Nevermind since you think this way i also can't do anything. I'll not do anything to let you not think this way... But if you want continue think this way then by all means. I shall not care so much... just that all these broke my heart. Fine! Stupid homework... Damn it! I don't know how to do! I'm so vexed about it!!! I seeked help from people that have the knowledge of account... but. . . Haiz. I'm so scared history would repeat itself. I've been struggling.. I'm trying very hard.. But why?

After reading some entries from few people's blogs... Few things passed my mind... Why would people argued over such a small stuff? Though during our year this kind of thing also happened but i don't think it's such a big issue like now... pls lar... so what if you're a band leader?!?! Please think it through... If you want people to respect you... earned it !!! not try to force people to respect you! If you really feel not happy after reading this... it's not my problem... it's just a matter of how you treat that matter... treat it in a childish way or mature it's yours choice... Nobody can help you... Everything is just up to you. Anyway if you want the band to get a gold... you should know bonding of the band is also very important.. No matter what i think you should treat your committee better.. Not just to shout at them or command them in whatever ways you like... I know i'm just an senior... But like the seniors... thos graduated in 2003... they all graduated with no regrets... why? Cause we worked hard together and have no grudges between each others... The bond between us... i don't think you all can do it if you all still remains the same. People commented on some others... but i did not say much.. why? Ha cause i don't quite understand things between them... But from my point of view... just hope that everything will turn out fine for everyone! If not you all can forget about everything including the GOLD for syf!

Zhi Hao's celebration was okay... Ate steamboat at AMK... But i ls again... Haiz..Wish a Happy Belated Birthday once again! Success to him in every stuffs! Smile everyday!! =) Was really tired when i reached home... But still have to touch on my homeworks.. Haiz...

Kaoz... having holidays liao but what's the use of it? Lots of homework given to us... Damn that fucking hell teacher... complaint that our class did not have enough work... what about other class? instead of 5 questions for every class we're given 13 questions lor still dare to complain our class... Now having stomachache again... i really scared that i will faint again... haiz.. having project individualy... computer spoilt... creative ideas... where to think of that? Fuck man!!! Hope everything will be fine next semester...

Fuck man! I'm angry over myself.. Cause i can't do my account.. ? FUCKING HELL!!!
I don' want history o repea. I'm really scared of it.

Anyway i just wanna say... to all my friends hat help me in all ways i really appreciate it... Thanks alot!!! Oh ya Daniel, thanks you... after hearing what you said i sorted out my thinking... You're like a big brother to me since secondary school... during that time when i had problems i sure to find you and you'll always help me solve it... THANKS ALOT!!!

If u tink by asking hu u like means getting e lastest info den i tink u r damn wrong! maybe to some1 yes... but not me... i juz dunno wat to say... u say u dun trust ppl... so? not every ppl trust ppl... i wan die so? yar i'm selfish but did u every tink y i tink of tis way? NO! i dunno wat to say... to ppl who tink tt u r my best friend and tink tt u know me best... JUST FUCK OFF MY LIFE!!! I've tried so hard to lead a carefree and happy life but it's diff coz i can't live without u... i love u! Den? u dun care! u basically dun care abt how i feel... u say i'm selfish... u ever tink of how i feel? NO! My hopes are all gone! u r stress of ur exams... u tink i'm not? maybe u dun even treat me as ur frenz... u say dun tink too much but wat abt u? i really care for u but u juz treat it as rubbbish... i really dunno wat u treat me as... at least in life u r more successful den me in everthing...

to her: i dun care wat ever fucking shit happened... i juz dun wish the relationship between us is so easily gone juz bcoz of some stupid ting... it juz dun worth it... frm e moment u r my sis i'll take care of u like a sis... no matter what. juz hope u'll be happy all day, stay healthy without ur gastric pain... PLEASE TAKE CARE OF UR HEALTH! if u dun even care abt ur health den e care tt e ppl ard u is juz rubbish... so... i tink u better go tink it out.

Fate let us know each other. i hope everything that happened will be the past. Let everything come to an end. No use brooding about it. Let everything start again. Whatever done cannot be undone. Scars in the heart will always be there. No matter how hard you try to heal it. Past is impossible to be our future. Why give others chance to hurt yourself? "i've done nothing wrong why should i die and suffer?" Saw this from a subtitle of a show.

Maybe in everyone's eyes i'm just a fool, bad character and bad tempered person. One who only bring sadness and sorrow. When then will i die off?

fucking asshole! what a nice word to use... fucking idiot! why all these stupid things happened on me? first is my studies... now friendships... everything just don't go smoothly for me. Haiz... why am i making myself to be happy? why?!?! whatever i do just make you feel bu shuang! no matter how hard i tried to cheer you up... it's still the same. i just wanna say if you really don't feel happy about me... just voice it out. don't keep it in your heart!!! whatever thing you've done to me already left scars on my heart. you hurt me again and again but i don't mind it at all... if i'm not wrong i think you're the 1st person i can withstand you lor... no matter how you irritate me i also won't be angry.. i just don't know why... but now all things turned sour.. i don't know how to solve it... i have no idea... i have no clues at all... i'm just tired and sick of it... all these you did to me just let me think of not living in this world anymore...but all my friends scolded me!!! i've got nth to say... in the past everything are so pleasant to me.. now... what happened?!?! everything is not the same anymore... you and i think we'll not go back to the past... you once told me to be friends again... but now... what you did?!? you're trying to avoid me!! wtf!!! i really can't stand it! i know you don't care what the shit i type... i also don't want know... carrying on with my this stupid fucking shit life.. it's really a tough thing for me to do... i just don't understand why my mum brought into this world. it really make me suffered a lot.. i know i must carry on with my life no matter what happens.. but i trying to forget everything tt happened.... i just want know why all these unhappy things just happened to me... i did think of ways to end my life.. but all these will cause pain to me... for the past weeks tt i'm depressed the only way i could save myself is only drink and drink till i sleep...

Why would this kind of thing happened on me? What the fuck did i do wrong? Your treat me as what? A fool izzit? You've hurt me again and again.. But i let it go... What did i do? You did not even give me a chance and you just ignored me.. Do you think it's fair to me? Even if you don't think so, can you just tell me why? Maybe what i've said in the past is true... I'm just a nothing to you. I'm not even a friend to you.. You told me to be friends again.. But what happened now? Why must i take all these tortures? It really hurts my soul... For the past years that i've lived... this is the worst i had ever encountered!

Thank everyone except me.. Cause i'm the one to cause her misery in her life... And i'm that lousy person who can't teach her accounts to score distinction.. i'm the one who caused her studies to become worse. Everything should be blamed on my shoulders...Bruised and battered by your words Dazed and shattered now it hurts



If you think love is blind then I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines .All you said to me. All you promised me. All the mystery never did believe

if u wanna find trouble...come to me...dun find those innocent ppl..im juz tired of u...tired of the ways u use on me..!!! Hmm... referring to who??? I'm very curious.. Maybe it's me.. Sick of my life.. tomorrow having another CA again...

if u wanna find trouble...come to me...dun find those innocent ppl..im juz tired of u...tired of the ways u use on me..!!! Hmm... referring to who??? I'm very curious.. Maybe it's me.. Sick of my life.. tomorrow having another CA again...

if u wanna find trouble...come to me...dun find those innocent ppl..im juz tired of u...tired of the ways u use on me..!!! Hmm... referring to who??? I'm very curious.. Maybe it's me.. Sick of my life.. tomorrow having another CA again...

Haiz... don't know what is happening to me? CHEN SHUPING WAKE UP NOW!!! But i don't know what i should do... Even if you're a friend/sis of mine.. i will still miss you. I don't know why.. maybe just that i'm too close with you? All my troubles you helped me solve... I cried again yesterday.. don't know why just feel very depressed. I did not study properly for my CA today... Just pray hard that i'll do well...

To him:

对你的思念 是一天又一天... 孤单的我还是没有改变. 好想再见你一面..想起了去年的这个xian zai 你的心到底在想些什么? 为什么留下这个结局让我承受? 最爱你的人是我... 在我最需要你的时候 没有说一句话就走 . 对你付出了这么多 你却没有感动过...
dui ni de si nian shi yi tian you yi tian.. gu dan de wo hai shi mei you gai bian. hao xiang zai jian ni yi mian.. xiang qi ke qu nian de ze ge xian zai ni de xin dao di zai xiang xie se me? wei se me liu xia ze ge jie ju rang wo cheng shou? zhui ai ni de ren shi wo... zai wo zhui xu yao ni de shi hou mei you shou yi ju hua jiu zou. dui ni fu chu le ze me duo ni que mei you gan dong guo...

CA is coming soon... haiz. After that will be my end year exams... i dunno i'll pass or not.. no confidence at all... hope everybody will pray hard for me to get through this time round... yesterday i drank beers then my stomach pain like hell during midnight... felt like vomitting but i could not vomit out... i'm sad but what to do? thanks to all frenz tt console me when i'm really down and depressed.. anyway just thanks... though i will never be happy...

Kaoz.. today got a stupid fucking hell teacher reliefing our class... what the fuck lor... ask her to relief not to teach our class... complaint this and that... say what our format is wrong... say want to remark our CA paper. Damn her!!! That none of her business lor... freaking hell idiot... She's a fucker lor!!! Fuck man.. She don't have the right to say our format of account is wrong lor...really spoit my mood today...

I know what i'm saying now you don't even want to bother.. cause now in your heart only got him.. you don't have to say it out but i can notice it.. why you want to play around with my feeling? Do you think it's fun by doing that? The answer is no lor. By doing this to me will just make me miserable. For the other one you even though you don't want to give me an answer but i know what you're thinking..

Wohoo~ today went cycling again... Actually we were accompanying winson to repair his bike but in the end you know what? Haha Ym bought a new bike worx!!! Damn good de... haha. Now very tired.. resting at winson hse... gg home soon..

[04/03/05]
Yesterday went cycling... Cycled till Hougang Point and ate a plate of duck rice... i couldn't finished it. Don't why the moment i saw food i just feel like vomitting. Haiz... my life really sucks! I really miss you alot... Can't we just be back to the same?

Fucking hell!!! Now my account can't get 100 marks, can't get 90 marks.. only can get 80 plus... Damn it lor! Haiz i know i'm not good in studies... but i really work so hard this round... this is all i get. I don't know what to say. REALLY! What i blog this few days really meant what my heart feels...

fuck off!!! knnbccb.... ^*&(#(%)@_$(@_!@(%!!! wat e fuck!!! cblj!!! *^)!#_#_%0*)#^(#!!!
from now on i'm gg to let every detest me..i'm nth but a sucker tt live in this stupid world of mine.

i hope when i'm helpless, need help and feel sad that time... i really wish tt my someone special will be right there for me.. but i don't think tt someone special will do that...

you said you like me always. this is just nothing but a lie. you once said you like me and then you don't. why are you toying with my feelings? from the beginning you dont't even care of me but just someone else. i don't stand a place in your heart at all. you said you miss me but i don't think so. perhaps the person you miss is just someone else. i just caused misery and anger in your life. no matter what i do, i just can't make you smile. someone else can do a better job than me.

[02/03/05]
i'm on the edge of breaking down. Somehow i think i really think i don't belong to this world. Or should i say my mum should not have brought me into this world. It's really a mistake for me to join this world. i wondered if anyone know what i'm thinking. i felt hurt, i felt very lost... i'm stuck in a life i hate with fake people and stupid promise and lies. i'm sick of everything. deep inside my heart, i'm bleeding. people may think i'm happy but i'm not! i wish that i was strong but i simply can't. i wish i could turn back time cuz i can't let go. i'm just lost when you're not around. i don't know where i should go. i'm still here waiting for you... i'll always be the one to pick up the mess.. maybe to you all this means nothing at all... i thought we'll stick together forever but it's just a wishful thinking of mine. don't feel like waking up everyday. Cuz everyday i'll bound to face up and downs. i'm sick of myself. i'm so frustrated of myself till i wanna die off.. i'm trying so hard to forget my sorrow but why it seems so difficult for me?!?! everyday i'm thinking the past life we used to have. the happy days we've spent together. every since we had cold war, my life is very miserable. in class i'm so restless.. i don't know how to make myself stay active... for the past one week plus i've been trying very hard to push myself. because i'm playful, i caused myself to end up in a lousy school.. till now i've still never change. i'm still the hot-tempered, lazy & bad character girl i used tobe.. can someone please lead me to a wonderful life without sadness and only happiness? well.. i think the answer in no.. Yee Sin once told me.. "life is actually boring and it all depends on you.. depends on how you're going to make your life to be exciting and interesting."

life simply sucks for me... i don't know wat to say. i noe i'm selfish k? but so wat? my life is now without any goal.. i'm really sad... i dunno wat to say i dunno wat to do...

Haiz this time round for my account CA i can't get full marks le... Damn it! Whether you got net loss or net profit in the end also can balance for the balance sheet!!! I'm so sad now... got lots to say but blog later... cause no time le... haiz

you would not go out unless u nid to go out for sth... wat e hell... now u oni tink of him n him... wat abt me? u juz flarely ignored me... suan le... i noe i'm not imprt to u anymore... i shld no have go ur hse thr... juz do nth but make u sad...

I hate my life.. really! maybe now i don't worth anything in your eyes... Nth but a fucker!

Went cycling yesterday straight after school... Reached home at about 10 pm plus.. fell down while i'm going home... haiz been thinking of sth then fell down.. Actually i should rided on the road and let the car crashed me. i'm really troubled. i'm really very useless. Can't bring happiness to you, can't help you in all ways. I only caused misery YOU... maybe not only you is all the people who know me.. i'm a failure in everything...

Today i ran very fast during s & w... haha coz i ate my breakfast... lolX. Then thought lots of things.. Recently lots of things happened to me.. things that i can't take it, things that hurt me, things that make me suffered... Now my weight decreased... Actually i had come to a decision for sth... i told myself not to let myself suffer.. I want to be a successful person. I don't want to be sad again! But all these i've said... i doubt i can make it... well this coming thurs i'll be having CA for account then fri will have class test for biz stac... sianz lor.. then nxt week wed n fri having CA again... Sianz.. Maybe that's all for now..

Yesterday was the releasing of 'O' level results... Woah ceyao was the top for normal academic... He's really good at it man.. felt happy for him... haha...well winson don't give up worx... there's a will, there's a way out to it... At evening time, we met at Compass Point for dinner. Had pizza hut... It's really been a long time we hang out like that. Since secondary time we went to pizza hut often... Giggling away there till every customers were left... lolX. Chatting with you on the phone is sure a nice thing... I know you like who... Jia you bah... go like him with all your mights...