Hmmm... stomach pain for 2 days. Sianz... Life like that. Going to graduate soon. OMG! Happy and scared. Hahax...

Polytechnic? I'm not sure whether i can get in. But i really wanna get in. I'm working doubly hard now. My teacher said if you're someone who always only have downs and not ups in your life... you're sure someone who is with lots of experience. Me... well i do sigh alot and that's the only thing i can do.. If not what? You.. Someone i like...don't even bothers me.. And then? So?

Thought i can put aside my feeings for you but it's still there. Just have a thinking.. No matter how long even wait till you graduate or ten years later i'll still wait...




You! give my excuses that you don't dare to play in front of me.. Cause of what reason i don't know. And very fine! You ask me to get lost.. So i get lost.. Alumni so what? Alumni still humans. We're not god... We're humans... Well never mind...

Yesterday went to Punggol Park... Lolx. Went there after receiving a sms frm... my jie! haha! Went there walk walk sit sit... Then chat chat... Of cause i did lame... Someone who's standing broad jump is 35 cm difference from mine. Whaha! Can't believe it. Anyway just glad that i met up with my godsis yesterday!

Movies? So what if i wanna go with you and you don't feel like going with me? Well... i'm dead. Not going to bother anything. Pink roses? So? Sweet? So? Feel like calling you.. So?

Lost because i'm lost. Sad because i'm sad.. What more shall i say? No more!!!

I like to thank my godsis and that's you! Yar you!! Don't know what more to say to you. Thanks for being there for me! =)

Life is so meaningless now... Wanted to sms you things to tell you how badly i'm doing now. But since you've somebody in mind now... I'll not bother you anymore. Sighs...

I've been absent minded for almost one week. Why? Cause of my fault. You said you want to draw a clearer line between us. You said you have no feelings for me at all. You said I'm not your type. You said I'm old enough to know what's more important now. Whatever you've said will always be in my mind. I'll bear what you've said. I thought I've recovered. But today it's still the same. WTF! Exams are just around the corner. Haiz! Doubt I can apply for polytechnic. If I really can't... what should I do? Find one part-time job for fun first? Find one full-time office work? Join the police force? Need to think of all these as well as doing all past year papers. Thinking of you... Why? Badly hurt... W.H.Y? Don't know... I don't know anything. Don't know what to decide. Don't know what's up next. No mood for projects and homework. But no matter how no mood I am, I still have to force myself to it. To say the truth, I really hate this life of mine. But what can I do? Continue living... No matter what life still goes ahead. You? I can't forget you and can't stop loving you. Friends asked me to hate you. But i just can't. Well... going to let my mind stop thinking of you. Maybe I need one year to do so. Hmmm... maybe when I work, time goes by and I'm so busy... I don't even think of you. I'm not sure. For now, you're sure the one I miss badly.

Yar i'm old enough. Old enough to know what's more important. But not old enough to face stress like what i'm facing now. Old doesn't mean i can face any troubles in a short period. Old doesn't mean i have super power to overcome anything. Old... So what? My fault to be old. I'm still young to gain more knowledge on either studies, relationship or etc. If you never give it a try you'll never know the outcome. Avoiding confirm is not the best solution to every problem. I still need time to heal my wounds. Ever tried of being moodless for everything? Depressed every moment? Almost dropped tears every night? Each day barely had proper meals? THIS KIND OF LIFE SUCKS TO THE CORE!!!

This time round i don't know what i did that make you not happy again. I really have no idea. Maybe you can tell me what i did wrongly. But since you wanna treat me like this i've got nothing to say. ALl i ask is just simple things. But... Well it's ok. Why should i have to think of all these and cause misery to my heart? Cause of all these made my head ache. Exams are coming... What will my future be, it just depends on this final round. But now there are still things i don't know yet. Time is running out for me. In such a short period, i have to take two CAs and final exams for 2 modules including projects and don't know what fucing thing is up next. God knows what will happen to me before the final exams. Maybe i'll end up in IMH or maybe... i don't know. Life is so unpredictable. Firstly i get to know you. Secondly i fall in love with you. Thirdly we ended. And now i don't know what. Haiz... WTF!!!




Never had a proper meal since Sunday... Not enough sleep either. No mood for homework, no mood for lessons. Everything also no mood! Do homework calcualate wrong figure. One question spent three hours to finish it. Even now must key in transaction for 20 and 21 Jan. But i key in for 21 Jan first. What the hell! Things not going smoothly for me this week. I'm going to be mad soon. Arghx!!!

I've shed tears because of some people. Its 1am now and I'm struggling at this hour. Because of who? You? Being human like me is such a failure. Never ever accomplish anything. All i do is just rubbish. I'm trying my hardest to give up loving you. I know you wish me to do that. You don't wish to hurt me but you are hurting me deeply right now. After all, I'm still a human with a heart. There's time that I will be very down because of you. I can really feel the pain. It's just like thousands of knives stabbing into my heart. And I could hardly breathe.


I don't want to give you up to others. I was stupid. I was foolish. I was lying to myself. I could't fathomed that I would ever be without your love. I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind. My heart is breaking, I'm trying to keep it together. But I'm falling apart. I'm feeling all out of my element. I'm throwing things. Crying. Trying to figure out where the hell i went wrong. I need you. Need you back in my life...




I always thought you are someone important to me, someone who will always be there for me. Since yesterday what you have told me, I realised that I'm so bhb. I felt very lost at there moment. Hai... You make me wonder what am I to you. You treated me so unfairly. So unfair!!! You better change back your attitude towards me. You should know who you are. AGNES!!!!!

In two months time i'm going to graduate. That's very fast. What am i going to be when i'm graduate? Continue to study? Oh no! My results don't allow me to choose this path. What job will i choose? I'm confused. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna grow up. I'm so scared to step into the society. I'll not know what the world be like... When i get older, i'll have more burden. I'm childish... Yar!

Haiz... Sianz! Sianz! Sianz! i miss you! i REALLY miss you!!!