Went to ym's hse yesterday. Actually plan to cycle but in the end it rained... CA is coming soon... haiz... yesterday i fell down from the chair... coz of somebody... pain... haiz. 1st time i fell off frm e chair... xia suay manz.. 'o' level result coming out today... hope all the peeps out there will get good results... haha.

"Right now.. i dun regard you as my fren or wateva..i dun wish to regard you as my fren again nor want to see you.. i really wish we can be strangers." That's what she said... i got nothing to say anymore.. nothing! really nothing! Maybe that's really the end of me and her... i don't know. i don't wish... no matter what i'll still wait for you.. you'll always be my godsis not only frenz forever..

I just can't smile without you. I can't live without you... my life is now full of sadness. You really want to leave me? You really dont' wanna care about me anymore? You bear to do all these to me?

Wo zhen de hao tong ku... hao nan shou. Thinking of new ways to commit suicide. Can't stand the pain anymore... y? if i say this to you.. you will confirm ignore me so... for that phrase you've said i'll do it secretly. Maybe not cause i don't have the courage to do so..

My heart is bleeding.. really very pain now... the amount of slashes on my heart lead my heart bleed profusely... i dunno wat to do but i really wish t we can go back to e old days

I really wish and hope to go back to those days... it can be done if u really give me chance. Don't treat me like that. I'm suffering now.. Really.. Crying almost every night now and then. I'm really sorry.. Please give me another chance.. Please.. I really wish to end my life right now.. if there's a need i'll do it so.. I'll find a right moment to die off... What should i do? I really can't do it without you... =(

Why do i have such a miserable life? =( Can you don't leave me? Without you my life goes on for nothing... i've no goals at all... you brighten up my days everyday... How are you now? I really wish to see you now.. How's your leg? Is it okay? Don't drink so much of canned drinks and coffee to people like you who have weak stomach. I really can't concentrate on my studies... practically i'm staring into the blank. If not i'll feel very tired and just wanna fall asleep in class. What the hell is going wrong with me?

These two days i'm really not feeling very happy... i'm sorry for what i've done.. please forgive me can? Can we just go back to the relationship we used to have? I've been starving myself for the whole day yesterday... even when my mum bought me my dinner, i just had no appetite... I really felt like dying off.. Nth could make me happy now... For all my life, this is really my first time i'm ever been like that... Can we just go back to the normal happy days we used to have? PLEASE!!!

Feel like dying off now... i nv ate anything frm e moment i wake up till now.. dun wanna eat today... for e whole day.. no appetite.. very sad now.. really... dun feel like living in this world anymore!

Once my feelings for you had given out it's difficult for me to take it back... So please accept me hao mah? haha... Today had an arguement with someone.. Maybe after school that person will find trouble for me.. or maybe that person will punch me.. So.. if you all does not see me means i'm dead already... haha.. went to watch "shutter" at ym's house with agnes and peggy.. diaoz... seems that they are very scared of that movie... lolX. They are screaming and i'm laughing out loud.. At one time i was scared off by Agnes's scream instead of that scary movie... Some other things i shall not mention le. lazy to type... want know more ? come ask me bah...

Yesterday saw the sec 1s..Woah again primary school band player.. but i think they are diff frm sujin lor... sujin so pro and they are like... hmm.. i wonder what they learnt in pri sch... to someone... i'lll be waiting for u forever... waiting for u to gif me an ans. miss u forever n love u forever.. hope u tink e same too but i dunno.. haiz.. haha... tml havin ite band.. sianz got to wake up so early.. sianz..

Haiz i really like you a lot this time round... can you make me not to do it so? Help me.. please.. it's either you accept me or you just kick me aside.. haiz.. kidding de... don't know what to write... i'm now mad... talking nonsence now... just ignore this entry

Yesterday went to fetch someone... then i reach hm at 10 pm plus... i felt very troubled... don't feel like gg home... why when you like me... i don't really like you. And when i like you, you don't like me... You never give me a chance... i really felt miserable.. can't concentrate on studies.. haiz.. i know without me in ur life u will feel much more happier... it's juz a mistake tt i went in ur life.. so sorry..

Yesterday went to pass v.day gift to a pig. =X haha... hope you'll like it.. if you don't, can throw it away... i don't mind... went home at abt 8 plus. was really tired. today was not a good day for me... only 3 person went for sports & wellness... damn it.. so pai seh.. den i can't concentrate for all the lessons today... kept thinking of something.. haiz.. i also didn't sleep well last nite... thinking of someone & some other matters... feel like going to die but it's painful... i don't know how to describe how i feel now... oni can say i feel very terrible... still got tings left wif me haven gif ppl... haiz... haiz.. i like u very much do u noe tt?

haiz maybe u shld go like e person u like rather den me... coz i'm not worth it.. i can't gif u happiness but troubles.. so~ put all ur love on e person u like bah...

wish to die off... i realise i really like u alot do u feel e same too? i dun tink so bah... shit getting depressed now.. i can't do that i must stay happy... trying hard to be happy...

[12/02/05]
As usual yesterday i went for badminton but this time round i did not play for so long. My leg was in pain. Don't know for what reason.. Oh then rotted for quite long... Haha... don't know what to post le. Haiz i really miss you every moment...

erm... Yesterday went to agnes's home.. Heard tt ppl hu go her hse must be interviewed de... haha.. so weird man! Tt peggy hor bth siax. Go take ang baos... aiyo got nth to say.. den later we went to ym's hse n play mahjong.. den someone tua me go home 1st.. hai me haf to take cab home... den got scolded by my mum... haiz... new year den got scolded. so suay! but nvm... haha.. long long one time nvm... now blogging at winson hse... oh ya yesterday agnes touched peggy's nei²... erm... all i got to say le is lyt le. haha. btw wish u all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! =)

Hmmm wat shall i say? haiz.. today is e second day of new year...sianz... when cny reach we n gamble n eat den do nth... haha now blogging at agnes's hse. Yesterday went to cy's hse to play mahjong. left a abt 1 am plus. was very tired den haf to wake up very early coz my cousins came to my hse... Went to grandm hse... den zh came... his luck was very gd... as for me i kept losing. ha~ nvm long long one time can liao... gtg. haha...
sorry to tt someone tt my temper is not gd.

Sianz i went to xms again to pass cd to someone... Then tt someone looked very pale.. tt person shld not go to sch. so stubborn... dun even care for her own health... got nth to say... sianz..

Yesterday i was helping my mum to clean the house.. Then chatted with Agnes on phone... Till night i was still talking to her. My mum came into my room and scolded me.. Argued with her till my i felt that my throat is pain... Haiz anyway my mood yesterday was good till the moment i argued with my mum... Today someone is sick... She never attend school. Take care girl! Don't consume oily food and cold drinks. There's always someone behind you to support you and be there for you when you are not feeling well...

[05/02/05]
Today XMSB had an exchange programme with Chong Boon, Montfort & Whitely. Know what? Montfort & Whitely play American Riversong.. Xinyi from Saxophone section said i play better... Whaha! After that went to Yao Ming's house to make something. Brought along something to put at Yao Ming's house too.. Yao Ming & Winson went to purchase badminton racket.. Received a call from Agnes... she said that she's in pain due to her gastric.. Then she said she's not coming down anymore. Then play badminton for quite a sometime i saw her... Her face was very pale. I did not talk to her cause i was playing badminton.. Haha! Soon she fell asleep on Peggy's shoulder. First time i saw her face so pale, i was so worried... Peggy went with Yao Ming's sis to buy porridge for Agnes. But Peggy met her mum... Her mum scolded her.. and asked her to go home immediately.. Well Peggy there's always time you can play with us... Just let your mum calm down. Agnes said she's scared of consuming egg so i went to buy another porridge without for her. Yao Ming fed her one spoon then i fed her a few spoon.. And her stomach was in pain again.. I can't do anything but just to sit down there to pray for her. Cause i'm not a doctor.. lolX. Sat on her legs... Woah~ very comfortable man.. haha..

Yesterday went back to xms again... brought along my trpt too. Haha.. Going thr with good mood but later on sth happened... Haiz someone was sad or what so ever but i can't help the person solved the prob... So useless right.. Then my both hand got injured with bruise n scars.. haiz.. Pain.. but what to do? nvm... worth it de... to gain trust of ppl is not an easy task. u need time to do that... so be patient... after that went to hougang point de kfc.. haha .. tis time round got daniel worx... got agnes, siew yuen, peggy, winson, ceyao, yee sin, yao ming.

Yesterday went back to xms... saw many things. e band got pumped but u noe wat.. they r still laughing when they got pump. After that went to ym's hse.. waiting for gz to teach me account. haha.. but gz reached ym hse instead... haha... thr's peggy, agnes, ray, gui zhi... haha.. THX gui zhi for ur teaching! I was happy yesterday nite but for afternoon something happened... can't say it out... oni can say i'm very sad... Then now my fist very pain... got bruises.. haiz. today everything is fine except tt i got stomachache frm yesterday till now...

Dunno wat to blog... haiz i got nth to say... no matter wat i do oso can't compare to someone wif someone... i'm very sad out of tis ting le.. dun wan to care anymore. sick n tired of it.. not i want to say it out but i really feel very xin ku... can't stand it anymore le. something words cannot describe wat i wan to say to u.. so ... haiz... today sch was ok... me now havin stomachachee... pain ar... sianz