My computer gone case again... Things happened till i realise who's really good to me who's not... I think i won't have the chance to update so often anymore. Haiz... Just because of that stupid sis. I really don't know what the hell she thinking. Life is not that good to me nowadays... But no matter what i will try to cheer myself up. I hope i really can do that. I really wish it... Think there's still sometime for me to think. Hope i can find a job soon too. But that's not easy too. Aiya qQ thanks ar when things happened you're there for me...
fucking hell! kanna slapped by my sis. damn it! she said she had the right to slap me. fucking bastard. if she've got the right to slap me then she shld be a role model to me. but she say why must i be a role model? coz u're my sis... if u cannot be a role model then u dun entitled any rights. Stop toking about any rights!!! n shut up... i noe everytime u'll just say i'm frm ite... n u always say i'm stupid... n u tink u r tt clever? i dun tink so. u r juz plain lucky... stop acting urself as banana... act as u like u r tt knowledgeble. pls lar look at urself in the mirror. dun say i'm a ah lian. juz look at urself how u tok to ppl 1st... dun say i got attitude problem... it's juz wat u do n wat i learn frm u... u say u have income of 1300 per month but so wat... u dun even contribute... u say urself u ever contribute to the family? wat have u done to the family? nothing at all... u treat home like a hotel go as when u like... u wasted mum's money... ever tink of tt? u say u will return... but when? at least i did not gif up half way. as for u? i tink u r hopeless... u juz got for bgr... bgr can let u have a rice bowl in e future? no! not at all... n someone i did msg... u ignored me... i noe tt's the end... i dunno wat to say... i'll always remembered the tight of slap, bruises n scratches u gave me till the day i'm dead... i won't forget it!!! u better watch out! if thr's any other time like today i wun give in... i will juz gif u a punch on ur face making blood oozing out frm ur nose!
I find that i really changed. From that me to this me. I read through my past entries... I was still the happy go lucky person but what am i now? Haiz... wish to go back to the past me but i don't think can. Life is just like that... Everyone says so. Why?
Saw this that i posted don't know is one or two years ago...
Friendship is a strange thing. We find ourselves telling each other the deeper details of our lives...things we don't even share with the families who raised us.But what is a friend? A condifant? A shoulder to cry on?An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these...and more.No matter where we met, no matter how long we've been together...I call you friend. A word so small,yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion,a word overflowing with love. Truly great things come in small packages. Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed.It is a constant book always waiting...waitingto be read...and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements...we may have our disappointments...we may argue..we may concern one another...friendship is a uniquebond that lasts through all tribulations. A part of each of us goes into our friendships...our humor...our experiences...our tears. Friendships are foundations...necessary for life...and love. Friends...you and me...youbrought another friend and then we were three...we started our group...our circle of friends...there is no beginning...there is no end.Don't know why i just don't have any appetite. My dad and mum are asking me to eat whole day. And my final answer to them is still no. I guessed i'm not eating for today. Don't know why. My mood is not that good today. Maybe i was just too bored at home. I guessed... Blah blah blah blah blah~
Why would people in the earth wants to make them hate people? Arghx! What the hell am i saying... The more you want the person to hate you i think it's very impossible of that. Cause it's just part of your thinking. Don't know what to say now. Mind is in a mess... Don't wish to say it out here. Don't feel like joining alumni band anymore... Ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haiz... Why my life just can't be that peaceful.. Must it be when i'm dead then it'll be peaceful? When then that day will reach? Waiting for it to come soon....
bOo~ I've finished my exams! Today's accounting paper was like. . . Haiz. I studied like mad for correction of errors. But in the end it only came out part of the balance day adjustments. I can't tally all my balance sheet and the worst thing was my pen suddenly no ink. I was very frustrated at that moment so i decided to anyhow do. Haha. . . Once i finished my paper i felt so sick. I feel like vomiting out at that very moment till now i'm still feeling it. However it won't affect my mood. I'll make myself happy in order to enjoy my holidays. Hope everything will just be fine for me...
Haiz.. don't know what's bothering about me. Maybe no one read my blog... Anyway it's just a place for me to let my feelings out. I really don't know what happened. At this time i should be studying for my accounting but i'm not. Just can't let go... Why? I really don't know how to express it out. Thank Gui Zhi for helping me in my studies! I don't know how to thank you.. All i can do is to say thank you! And Roslinda thank you that you're willing to study with me... Haha! I hope all my classmates will get through this end year exam.... Good luck everyone!!!
ii cried before ii laugh before bt ii nv considered before dat ii will end up being alone we ve traveled through how much wind n rain together?y now do euu wan to end it?wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong wrong euu had a change of mind, when did it start wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong wrong ii can't accept dis kind of complete conclusion wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong wrong in d end, wad was our frenzship worth?
Went studying account again... Haha. Don't know why i just concentrate on studying... No mood. Then was chatting with Roslinda till don't what time then we started on it. Went KFC for dinner. Something happened that make me stunt... And i was like very ... Don't know how to describe it... A girl approached Roslinda... don't what she trying to say. All i know is that girl keep calling her and pointed towards the board.. And luckily the manager came to our rescue if not we don't know how to react with that girl. Well i think she's not a normal one... Don't know why her parents just let her out like that to scare people. Guessed what? Then we saw her again while we were heading to the arcade. I increased my walking speed. And those living in Hougang area, this happened in Hougang Mall so beware of it! LolX!!! Now left one more paper and i'm going to chiong tomorrow and that's it. I'm free from thursday... Whaha!!!
Some things happened, some things don't... Friends are there friends are not. Why everything happened uneccessarily? Well i will not say all these in detailed. Haiz... things just happened when i stop thinking... When i want to concentrate in studies it does happens. Don't understand why all these thing would happen.. Maybe it's because of different environment, different mind... Now i'm left with one more paper and i'm having my holidays... Friends out there help me find one job... Haha... I need money!
Went study then later headed to Winson's house for mahjong... haha... it was fun... think it was the first time i play with yee sin? haha! yee sin good game!!! heard what my friend told me today... i'm gonna change... but i don't know how. well guys just wish me good luck to my coming exams bah....
Life... like that like this lor... Is avoiding helps to solve everything? Nah not going to continue about this. Today's attendance was like.. hmmm how should i phrase it? 6 out of 31... Guessed what... biz com teacher went off to complained to the head. LolX. Does complaining helps? Actually you think about it... it does abit... By punishing those who skipped school. =Xx Finally i had presented my IT project. I've got 2 of the highest in class. Can't say that i'm not satisfied with it... Just that these few days i'm not that happy, so i was not that overjoyed when i knew how i did. Exams are just next week... Don't know why i just feel that there's not enough revision for me. I don't wanna flunk in my exam. Tired, tired, tired... Wanna thank my friends that help me out in my IT project. Thanks alot!!! ;P
After reading Ceyao's blog... i've gave a thought for a moment.I've too regretted doing many things in life, so much that makes me miserable after doing it. In his blog, he said it's part of our life.Well it's true...I still don't know what i want in my life...Maybe i do. I want a simple n happy life. Don't wish to trouble by all the nonsence. Don't wish to have any problems. Life is really meaningless without you... Is it true? It's true for me... But if the other don't think so.. Then just leave it. Yao Ming once said it takes two hand to clap. Think this relates to everything in life... Actually it's easy to leave a person in your life but no matter how hard you tried, you still can't forget the person. To someone... you always said i assumed that you're busy. And the truth is i did not... But if you really want to continue thinking like that i also don't what to say anymore. You did tell me you schedule before... And i just merely asked you whether you going for alumni band and look what you've said to me... that doesn't mean i can't enjoy life. I'm not implying anything. Just a simple question and you can think so far. I did not do this to you... Do get clear about it.
Just came back from badminton session with Gui Zhi, Yao Ming, Daniel, Ceyao, Winson and my friend Roslinda. Actually was studying with her at Hougang Mall then i saw Gui Zhi's sms. Felt like playing badminton at that very moment. Then went there with Roslinda. Well was really tired after playing badminton. Today i was really occupied with stuffs till now then i got a break. I think that's good for me cause i no need to think of those miserable things. I'm glad this two days my buddies are with me. I really appreciate what my buddies did for me. Though i've still not recovered now. But i think i'm on my way to heal the wound in my heart. Life never be the same before. Just let that be a beautiful accidental in my life.Or an expensive lesson for me. Exams are near... I still think that the revision for me is not enough. Just think of what method the teacher uses to teach us... Imagined he just go through the theory and gave the answers of the revision paper without letting us do. How will we be able to pass? I don't know why these few days i just can't stand this stupid nonsence of this particular teacher. Stress about how am i going to pass my final year exams while i'm really trying hard to revise now.
For some moments i find it meaningless for me to go back to alumni band. I don't know if i'm trying to run away. I hope i'm not. I've had this thinking it my mind before. I don't know what to do. I'm really very very tired. I felt lost. Can anyone out there help me? Bring me out of this idiotic life. My buddies, you should know who you are. Think maybe you all might not agree with me.. Cause i think you all have a good relationship with her. Well maybe that's the end. But i hope you all can bring her happiness. I shall stop here and continue my new life. I don't know i can do it or not.. Fang bu xia ze duan gan qing... dan shi wo nen zhuo xie se me de? wo hao wu neng... wo yin gai xue ze ru he fang kai ru he fang xia... wo xi wang shi jian nen cong dan ze yi qie yin ying...
That's what i read from caren's blog. I find it appilcable to me... sad thing abt life is when u meet someone n fall in love..onli to find out in the end t was nv meant to be.. n u have wasted yrs on someone who wasnt worth it if he isnt worth it now he's not gg to be worth it a yr or 10 yrs frm now. forget him i believe that no matter how hard i'm trying not to cry. no matter how hard i'm trying to hide the tears shed. no matter how much miracles there r in life we'll nv be tgt. accidents do happen
u r the most beautiful accident in my life yet. oso the one tt has left me withered suddenly i realise everything's changed.e memories r still der but everything's fading i'm stepping into a new chapter in my life..
she bu de bu she de... bu she de ni... mei yong qi mian dui xian shi... mei yong qi den huo xia qu... ze shi wo mah?What's the fucking happening to me? So what if you admit the attitude you treat me is cold? Does admitting everything help? NO! IT DON'T!!! So just stop running away! Here i am trying to solve it. And what you think you're doing? You did not think it though and just give me those stupid kind of negative answers.Can't you spare a thought for me? Alright you have your own problems but so? You will try to solve it but not this... Once you said you wished that we're strangers... you said it's when you're angry you said that... But do you know that your attitude reflects on what you've said? i'm really tired. mum~ i wished to tell you all these... but can't... i know you've your own problems. And people out there if you're that kind of person that is zhong se qing you i dunno how to be friends with you guys anymore. Blinded by love and you don't what's right or wrong even you clearly stated that you know what you're doing.
Suddenly i thought of my passed away grandpa. I missed him... Everytime i think of him, i just feel like crying. He's really a nice and caring grandpa. When i'm young... He would always buys us tibits, toys and etc... Then i take it for granted... i think i did not say any thank you to him. Till that day when the doctor diagnosed that he had lung cancer, everyone was depressed. I cried when he was sickly lying in his bed... He was still talking to me.. holding my hand.. asking me to be good. Till now i'm still crying. The moment he passed away i was about to open my door to get my clothes and return back to grandpa house. But everything was just too late. If only i stayed at my grandpa house i still could take a last glance at him... All i know is i remembered every moment when grandpa passed away... During the funeral, the process of burning the coffin, picking up the ashes and placing of the urn. I don't know if i'm really grown up. I wish i will still be the kid that have no problems. Problems just surface out when i'm getting older. I just don't like it. Family problems, peer problems, financial problems... I believe some friends out there are truly concerned about me and i do really thank them from the deep of my heart.. As for those who are not... i don't know what to say. Either you feel that making use of me would let you feel happy then just continue doing it if you don't feel guilty of it. For people who i care about and don't treasure me... just treat me like a lump of shit i'll not hate you... cause i juz simply dunno how to hate people now. i just hope everyone will not think of using the people around you.
